What is reasonable and what is not?

[cpolk]

This is similar to what I went through with my W. Her PA had ended and all that was left was the EA that a phone call once or twice a week and some text messages would fan the embers. After the last time OM called we had the most recent blowup (just over 3 weeks ago). She had decided due to my reaction of her being on the phone with him for over 40 minutes that she was done. Her mother talked her out of leaving somehow. She then told me that she would stay but take it day by day. I said that's good I'm glad you aren't going but that's not good enough now.

I then proceeded to tell her that she decided she was going to go (again), now (again) she's not. I'm glad you're staying but here's how its going to be this time around. If you are staying you are done with OM entirely.

In my own mind I got around the ultamatim with "you don't have to stay, but if you do your contact with OM needs to end". As I was/am tired of living with his ghost.

As I am still, I had readied myself for her to go at any time. It gave me the conviction to stick by my words and mean them. She is still home. Perhaps finally getting over the 'addiction' now that contact appears to have ended.