I know that I for one totally underastand your feelings!!! I just tend to rant and rave a bit more often about it.
I think that perhaps it is time for us to simply focus on ourselves and let whatever will be, be!!!
if we continue to be the ones to put in an overload of effort we will eventually burn out...these "pendulum flows" can really wear you down.
if we keep the focus on ourselves keep our own pma then perhaps when the pendulum flows away from us yet again...we wont be as effected by it and soon (hopefully though I'm getting pesemistic) our spouses will learn that they too have to put forth effort.
then again I did have another thought..perhaps it may not be a bad idea to let w know how you feel...that sometimes it does take effort to put on a happy face for her.
conciquences of this may be her saying "well then see...we don't belong together"
this is all so damn frustrating!!! I thought we grew up and got married...why now do I feel like I'm in highschool again????
