I know just what you mean -- W could not understand how degrading it was to be treated like a circus animal expected to perform a regular show against a very tight schedule. The spontaneity and passion get drained from the experience over time. What should be a glorious soul-binding physical act of intense passion gets diffused into a perfunctory mechanical task with little heart left in it. A "duty" and nothing more. It just doesn't elicit the same level of ardor when your spouse is busy looking at her watch most of the time. Maybe I'm odd for a male of our species, but I don't want to just get my rocks off when I ML with my W -- I want the heat, the fireworks, the soul-melding, the whole package.
Trying to conceive S2 through fertility treatments, in particular, was just so discouraging. God had the last laugh on us however. For all the stress it caused us in our marriage, those treatments never even worked -- only months later, after we had all but given up hope of being blessed with a sibling for our firstborn, when we were resigned to being parents of an only child, did we really relax and He blessed us with our second child.
(I thought that with the birth of S2 that, finally, we were now past the rough spot in our marriage, but I was so very wrong.)
The good news though is that the struggle to have our children and the worry that it would never happen, has made me truly appreciate them for the miracles they are. It also is a great source of pain to realize that the possible dissolution of my marriage, contributed to in no small measure by these early difficulties, now threatens the very family we have worked and prayed so hard for.
