why don't I listen to my own stories?

[Trixi]

I don't think he turned down the beer float; I think it just didn't happen. When I spoke with him Thursday about why he couldn't just tell me what was up re the weekend, it was the beer float, "but it doesn't look like a lot of people are interested. I'll know more tomorrow."
My *ass*umption is that not enough people showed an interest.

That makes me second choice. The winner by default. (FYI-I am not in a good way right now.) Our daughter just told me she is effing pregnant AGAIN. She was FINALLY getting her life together. Figuring out school. Literally JUST moved over here to get her life straight. Living rent free (for a time) in a mobile home on my parents property; close by. (Not 2 hours away like before.) She already gave up a baby in February. She's not sure what to do this time. I am very conflicted. She's not far along (a month maybe) and said that her choices were adoption, abortion or keep it. Her boyfriend (same one from the first baby) said that he is in no way ready for a child. (Duh. He broke up with her a few months back by moving out and leaving a note. And now they are dating again. CRAP!!!!!)She said she was taking the pill; says she didn't miss any doses. I don't know. Doesn't matter now I guess. She was pretty upset and also upset that I was disappointed.

Last night I had to call H to tell him what was going on and it made me really realize that I am here alone. We talked for a short bit and then he had to get going to work on homework. (His class is tonight, so intellectually I understand; emotionally not as much.)

I am second guessing my decision to see my H. He goes in waves of obviously being happy to be with me, to being more like the "old" him that is just going thru the motions. Why would he come home if he gets to be have both worlds? Worse, what if he only comes home because he hates living in an apartment.

I haven't heard any more ILYs since the week before when he was drunk (and the morning after).

My client/friend invited me/us to go to China this coming spring and when I told him about it, he was very ho hum. non-committal. (Goes along with him not knowing how he is going to feel.)
I have been talking about Costa Rica for YEARS. I haven't gone on a real vacation (more than 3 or 4 days) for YEARS. His parents are talking about taking a trip over Christmas to Costa Rica and had invited us to go along. (Knowing that we were selling our first house and would have proceeds from the sale.)(Of course, I was only invited originally because I'm his wife. Now that he moved out, I am not invited anymore.) The tour company sent us a brochure and we were looking thru it and I told him that I will be REALLY upset if he goes without me because that is something I wanted to experience WITH him and I have talked about it for so long. He did not seem upset or annoyed that I was saying this, so I sure hope he takes it to heart.

I'm gonna finish this by saying that as time goes on, I am getting more ticked off with his parents. I am glad that he is not "buying into" what they are saying; but I sure wish they hadn't just thrown me out like that.

So sorry for the babble.