The second session with our couples counselor was yesterday. We spent a little time on communication, but most of the hour on a single issue.
This was that if we move forward in marriage, to start, I need to have the promise that W, no matter what difficulties arise in our M, will never have an EA or PA again.
This was a challenge to be clear on this and get W to answer specifically and promise.
The good thing was that our C was able to state clearly to W how damaging the EA and future EA's would be to our M.
I had to be firm on this because I think in her heart W believes that the EA was okay.
So it was a very powerful and emotional session. I don't know if I believe W's promise yet. I told her, that I may have to hear that promise again or a few more times, but did appreciate the fact that she did make this promise. She may still feel EA's are okay at some level, but at least our counsellor was good, and made clear they are not okay.
So I have IC in another day or so. I plan on discussion around what this means to me, and where I go from here.
It's a good thing, I just don't know what I want. Do I trust and move forward. Do I guard my emotions. I feel like guarding myself. I have also looked at the opportunity life presents without W, and M, as that has been on my mind.
As lonely as it may be, I like some aspects of potentially being on my own.
IS 49 W 47 S 21 D 19 S 16 M 24y Together 31y EA Mar04-May 06 PA Feb06-Jun06 EA May07 Bomb Dec 28 07
Footfalls echo in the memory, down the passage which we did not take, towards the door we never opened Into the rose-garden. T. S. Eliot
