Get on the correct medication and hopefully your perspective will change so that even if a year from now your W is still with OM, your PMA will be so good that you will be able to see a future without your W or a way of working toward getting back together. At the moment you are not able to do this because of the awfull place you are in.
Get professional help immediately. A year makes such a difference. How many times can I tell you I am living proof of this. 14 months ago I tried several ways to finish myself, overdoses, cutting etc. I stopped just short of driving my car full blast into a tree because I was too scared I might survive but be disabled. Just don't go there - today I am so glad to be alive, to have my family around me, to have my friends, to have my dear friends on these boards who understand what my pain is/ has been.
You have so much to live for. I know you can't see that now, but you have. You are one of God's children and you are your parents' child - none of them want you to die by your own hand prematurely. You can do so much with your life. Saffie
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
