I am going to stop posting and just read what you say and how the others respond. Our thoughts parallel. I guess this is the place I need to be for now and I see I (we) have a lot of work left to do.
I understand your question and your feelings about her response all too well. It's not quite fishing for a compliment, but you are opening the door for her to say something uplifting to you. Unfortunately, rarely do they ever. It is true for sons to fathers, daughters to mothers, Hs to Ws and Ws to Hs. We ask a question knowing we will not get the answer we want, but we hope that we will. Usually we are told just enough for us to keep hanging on. Or we just think to ourselves, "Oh, (he/she/it) really meant _____ , I just know it." I think it is because we believe that if the person really knew what we were asking for, they would tell us but at the same time we feel like they should already know what to say.
Maybe someday we'll all "get it," and never have to fish again.
I don't know why, but now I feel like my W should be going well beyond the call of duty to make up for what she has done. I know this is wrong and that I am on shaky ground as it is, but I am uncertain how to db from this point.
I think you are doing fine, and there seems to be plenty on intelligent people to give you help. I hope to learn from them as well.
