You may be right but I'm not sure. She's lost in a fog that's for certain. However the next few days should give me a further glimpse. She came back on Sunday after being overseas for 2 weeks on business. She called every night to talk to all of us, yes all of us. At times I am not sure she really wanted to talk to me but she did. Other times she was a chatter box as much as she ever could be. But our conversations were never more than 10 minutes. I don't read into that because she's not a phone chatter, never has been.
Her flight on Sunday was to arrive at 7:30 pm, ultimately she was 4 hours late due to delays. So she arrived after midnight. I ended up staying at the house Sunday night. When she got home it was nearly 1 AM and I was up watching TV. She came in got settled and we chatted a little. As I was heading to bed in our guest room she said to me in a very nice tone, thanks for waiting up, it was nice not to come home to a dark house. :-)
Yesterday morning I got up got the kids ready for school so she didn't have to worry about that. As she left to take the kids to school again in a similar tone, thank you for taking care of everything this morning. She then gave me a big tight hug. Man if felt good to get a hug from her like that!
Now the twist to all of this, Sunday afternoon I discovered her car wouldn't start. I didn't think it was the battery because lights, radio etc worked fine, it just wouldn't turn over. Almost like the starter motor had failed. Well I have made all arrangement to get that fixed now. But yesterday before I did anything the service rep wanted me to try to jump it with my truck, which I loaned her. So in the afternoon she picked me up and we tried but failed to jump her car. As we sat down she said why don't I stick around keep her company. She ended up napping after we had chatted about nothing really. We got the kids from school and she invited me to eat with them. We had a really good dinner and nice time visiting afterwards.
So not a bad way to start after her return. We'll see about the rest of the week. I'm going to give her all the space in the world this week to, don't want her to think I'm needy or anything.
FLTC,
I guess it's acceptance more than anything. For me a lot of the pain is dulling finally but also I have found things that truly make me happy stuff I can get excited about. Sure being a great Dad is tops there but now I don't get so sad when I'm not with them. I enjoy the memories and look forward to being with them again. Plus I just look around now and see and feel positive energy finally, appreciating a lot of the little things in life like seeing an older couple expressing their feelings towards one another or just marveling at the wonderful sunny day.
If we really want to love, we must learn how to forgive. - Mother Theresa
