The ties that bind

[haphazard]

Yes Journey he is. I do get occasional glimpses that he has had some deep thoughts and it is a surprise that they exist. I think I have a couple of problems though with your suggestion about finding a way to bridge that gap. The first problem is that I am feeling so DONE trying with that man. And the second problem is he tends to do what Corri described her H doing and just glaze over when I start talking about something that interests me. He is a conflict avoider big time. So if we were to start having a discussion about a TV show and I had a different POV to him it would p!ss him off. Because I already know this I tend to try and be more easy on him and keep my own POV more to myself just in an effort to get him to open up some. But when I do that I end up feeling frustrated or else I just get bored myself hearing him talking about something in a way I don't agree with.

For example, when Tony Blair was first voted in as our prime minister although I have been a life long labour supporter and was completely happy they finally won an election - I still didn't like Tony. I just felt there was something shifty about him. Anyway if I said anything my H would always be defending him, which is OK he has his view I have mine, but then if I pointed out any flaws in his argument he would just get p!ssed off with me, he wouldn't engage. As far as he is concerned disagreeing with someone is rude.

So to him having a free and frank exchange of views on politics or education or modern art or whatever is a painful process he would rather not engage in. He either just wants to say his piece and have me go "oh OK I never thought of it that way", or say nothing.

At the end of the day what I am asking is why in a marriage should I put up with someone who keeps their thoughts to themselves anymore than I should put up with someone who keeps their c0ck to themselves - kwis?

I'm just so bored of this.

Fran