Ian once you interalize she is trying to take your children and your money you will forget about "protecting her." You need not attempt to protect her. You need to protect yourself. You need to understand this is a paradigm shift for you and one you must accept and move forward. Good luck.
Me 45 WAW 46 Married 23yrs D22 S18 D12 W moved out 1/12/07 Divorce Final 2/06/08
Thanks all... Court is over. They cancelled the temporary support hearing when they saw that we had filed for a guardian ad lidum for the kids. They want us to have the guardian represent the kids, determine the parenting plan, and then spousal support and child support will be made retroactive to the date of filing.
She lied to her attorney again, told him I was going to postpone this hearing. He was a bit livid with her when that did not happen. My attorney also politely informed them that my W having relations is still considered adultery until she is divorced. Did I mention I love my attorney
Afterwards my attorney and I were talking and she said to me, "your wife is out of her mind, I don't understand her behavior at all."
I replied with the following, " Look (attorney), I want you to know that Carrie is a good woman, this is not her right now. She is making poor choices yes, but inside of that shell is a wonderful woman and I don't want you to look upon her badly because of her current actions."
She looked at me and paid me one of the best compliments I have received, she said, " Of all of my clients that I have had over the years, you are by far the most well adjusted that I have ever had. It is amazing that even with all that is going on it is important to you what I think of your wife and you are defending her honor to me." She then asked me this question, " Ian, if your wife decided to come back during all this, you would take her back wouldn't you?"
I told her that it would have to be under my terms, but that yes, I still love my wife very much and believe in us, even after all of this insanity. Reality is, that is the truth.....
I decided to come home instead of going back to work. Today was tough. First step towards the end and all. Some tears falling, more out of the sadness of this whole situation and seeing my wife so distant and confused.
Not for nothing, but as strong as I feel right now and as clear as I am about my direction here, this is still very hard to do. It is very hard to love someone and go through what we are going through.
ohh Ian I love your spirit and need to defend her, even though she's crazy. That is love. despite the BS you're going through, you're truly a good man. I wish she could see what you feel for her and snap her head back on straight.
Maybe I'm just emo today too - stupid f***ing anniversaries......suck!
....Understand, that I can't, not be what I am I'm not the milk, and Cheerios in your spoon ~ Avril Lavigne ~ ..."Nobody's Fool"...
sorry today was tough, but you are remaining a true gentleman through all of this and that is so awsome.
found out about affair 8/06 H moves out Nov/06 D final 8/07 X re marries OW 5/08 _________________________ Courage does not always roar, sometimes it is a quiet voice at the end of the day saying... " I will try again tomorrow". -- Mary Anne Radmacher
It's a real shame that your lawyer has not run across many people who could behave the way you did. Maybe more marriages would be saved if more people could find that kind of courage and compassion in themselves.
Thread #10 22 year M, MLC, Piecing since 1/07 Goal: Live with confidence & enthusiasm!
