Okay, is it possible that I've been on the bb since Dec. 30th and this is my first time visiting your thread?
I was moved to do so by the great stuff you wrote to Sad recently.
Oh, man, can I relate to what you're going through!
I, too, worry about the "old patterns" creeping in. When my H accused me of showing my "sarcasm repackaged" the other night, it really hit hard.
I, too, tended to get stressed out, irritated and angry easily and I have been feeling more agitated in the last week or so than in the 7 months previous! Curious, huh? Now that we're trying to "piece" and everything's out in the open, some of the old Shiny is leaking through.
BUT, and this is a huge BUT, I recognize this when it's happening. Even when H asks "What's wrong" I know enough to wait till I've cooled off, journalled, had a bath before bringing up the issues. Previously I would have just bottled it up for days and days and then exploded.
I, too, get that sinking feeling sometimes, that H just isn't trying hard enough, and I too share your concerns about not wanting to "settle" for a crappy R.
I think we all need to be a little more patient, but at the same time wake-up calls may be in order from time to time.
Case in point, I thought expressing my concerns about the lack of progress on the financial issues in our sitch went in one ear and out the other....but H just had to process it (he just looked sullen to me at the time) and wrote me a letter today addressing those very concerns.
Why didn't I feel more elated? Because, like you, I want to see ACTIONs, which, as the lyrics say, speak louder than words sometimes!
Eerily enough, H played that very song on his computer during out QT with wine and song on Friday night. Brought tears to my eyes.
Oh and for all you Yoga enthusiasts, I'm rather envious as a recurrent foot problem has derailed my usual work-out for a few weeks . It really is a great release!
Don't be surprised if I'm around here more, J, I've gained a lot just from reading through your thread today.
. It really is a great release!
