lol, what a nice way to wake up...you all make me smile.
its really funny because when he first started saying stuff that made no sense, like I do nothing, I would try to validate myself to him...point out what I do. then he would sneer at me and ask if I wanted credit. essentially he wanted me to agree that I do nothing at all, and if I didn't agree to that, if I pointed out the things I did, he would mock me for pointing them out. it was all very weird, made no sense, until my therapist and my friend made me realize that yeah, he needs to do that to protect his own damn ego from what a jerk he is. my pointing out concrete things would throw him off (I was lousy with confrontation in the past, I've gotten much, much better).
he does say that I am a good mom, at least he's never used that. what hurts is he has decided I wasn't a good wife. its bizarre the stuff he would throw out on that front, because it was like he had forgotten every single good thing in our R, every thing I had done for/with him. he had forgotten that just a year earlier he was bragging about me to his buddies. I think this is why I like the fog analogy so much...it just seems to describe him so well, its like he is in a fog, and doesn't see things clearly anymore. doesn't see our life as it was anymore, just sees the things that were not so good.
okay, rant over.
my face doesn't hurt today, but I'm conjested and I feel things working into my chest just a wee bit. not quite there yet, so should be able to get a w/o in at some point. I am, however, getting that sexy lauren bacall voice . if my nose wasn't so red, I'd really be somethin'. lol
busy day, therapy today, will try to do tae bo and H is coming after work so will nip out to the gym for some cardio. we'll see how I'm feeling as the day goes on.
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
