HELLO DARKNESS MY OLD FRIEND

[hopefloats7]

goal,

Sounds like the cliche' fear they have of death that is seeping out in all his conversations. Very interesting.

And he's asking about your social status. You've got him thinking. Good job.

I don't think there is any advice you need; you always seem to handle yourself so well in this. GOOD for you!

[goal]

Thanks Hope,

Thanks for the support. I am not as confident as I sound most of the time. Had a real bad day yesterday, full of despair. I am better today though.

I so admire you and how you have handled your sitch. You are a very strong woman.

[goal]

Journaling:

Some weird stuff going on in my situation. H handed my daughter my car insurance form and told my daughter to tell me that I need to put this in my car just in case I have an accident.

I told my daughter to tell him thank you.

Friday my daughter had to be picked up from the house and taken to a birthday party. I had plans to leave work early to do this so she could be there on time. My H found out about this and left work early to take her so I did not have to.

I am still dark....

He is showing some signs of consideration.

He is more interested in the kids and spends more time with them.

OW does not appear to be around as much.

He does not have the children around OW.

No action from his attorney regarding the divorce.

[peacetoday]

Goal
consideration is important..maybe he is rethinking?
you Never know- and no expectations is always better
hoping the best for you
peace

[Cinderellaman]

Just happy to hear this...........be still !

[kikifree]

The reason I am doing what I am is because I could not live with myself catering to my H when he is doing such evil. I hated it. I could not fake being nicey nice to someone like that. Even though I still love him, I don't like him. I believe in consequences, it is what I teach my children. I was not being an example by acting like his adultery was not serious.

My H never apologized or repented for destroying his family. Until he does this, he will never see or hear from me again.

And I think that is exactly the right thing to do. I am in the same boat.

Without respect there can't be a "good" relationship.

[Nutty Chick]

Hi Goal.

I am following a very similar line to you with regards to going very dark with my H. Like you, i am unable to be nice just cos it is a DB rule (for want of a better word)

I have had some intersteing and mixed responses from my H.

Do you not see your h at all? I find i tend to forget all of the bad stuff in the r when i don't see him for a while though. I saw him on saturday to discuss the children, it is good to do it when you want to cos you can make sure you are lookin' hot :o)

My H is tending to mirror my behaviour at the moment which is quite interesting ...

Best Wishes
Nutty x

[goal]

Nutty,

I don't see my H at all. Last time I saw him he was driving on the road next to me, I turned away.

He still tries to see me, call me, email me. I ignore him. He knows where I live, work, play, etc.. A simple "I'm sorry" would change my lack of communication. That is common decency and respect.

Kiki,

Hang in there and thank you for your support.

[hopefloats7]

goal,
You have amazing will power! I admire your strength. Thank goodness you've set boundaries and are keeping them. You sound like you are doing very well.
Thank you for your post earlier; you are so sweet.
Be strong. Be still.

[suzanne s]

Goal- I stumbled on your thread and agree with all who say you are doing so well and that they are inspired by it. I also have to say that when I saw the following in one of your posts it really hit home! I feel the same way, and seeing someone else say it made me cry for the loss of the wonderful person I married. He isn't here now, But I pray he will be again.

(((By going dark I have peace. There are times I really miss my H, but I remind myself that he is not the man that I married. He is the opposite in every way, shape and form. By going dark I risk that my H will forget about me - "out of sight out of mind thing". By going dark, I guess sometimes I hope that I forget about him. He is always there, in my heart though. He lives there when I see a pretty sunset, or when my daughter laughs, or when one of my patients die at work. I always hear his voice consoling me, commending me, or just talking with me. - I only hear the old H, not the new.)))

Hang in there! I hope all works well for you. I would direct you to my threads to read my sitch, but I am not sure how to do that. Take care and sorry you had a tough day the other day, I understand!