I guess my previous posts just about sum up how I am doing today. I'm feeling crappy but not in meltdown mode. I will manage because I always do. I'm really just trying to avoid reverting back to the old me in the M which really wasn't me at all...but somehow safer.
I don’t totally understand what you’re saying. On one hand you say you feel “unattractive, unsexy, unpassionate, bored, resentful, etc.” but on the other hand you say you “feel very sexual, but I have felt the need to suppress it to protect...myself, I guess.” Are you saying you feel sexual but because your H isn’t aggressive enough it makes you feel unsexy?
Didn’t you go through a similar thing 5 or 6 months ago? Then you made some kind of advance or talked to your H and things took off, and within a day everything seemed to turn around. As I recall, he wasn’t quite sure where you stood and your initiating let him know. Does he know how you feel now?
As for my comment on voices, I still don’t understand why you come to the conclusion that you are not sexy if you don’t get the validation you need from your H. I mean, if he doesn’t initiate, there is a whole set on questions and answers going through your head. But why settle on the answer that you are not sexy? Why is that the default answer? Why couldn’t you as well decide it is because you are TOO hot for your H? Why do you place the “fault” on yourself?
Now, at the risk of getting you ticked off, are you sure there wouldn’t be any value in revisiting your views on feminism and how those views affect a man, because going on what you say, the problem is with him, right? Perhaps he is somehow getting the wrong impression from you.
Personally, LFL... I think you are the masculine in the sexual R. And you haven't yet accepted it.
If you accept it... a whole new world might open to you. Your misery, to me, is stemming from the fact that your life is not meeting your ideal, and you are resisting.
You suffer in the act of resisting.
If you accept... well... now... that changes the WHOLE ballgame.
I'm sure I don't make sense to you half the time Cobra because I'm not always the most logical person and too emotional. I sense you don't "get" that but that's ok. I'm not really up for rehashing my position again, but thanks for the post. Plus I liked the TOO HOT part. lol Yep. That's my problem. Maybe I'll respond more tomorrow. I need to go eat chocolate on the couch now.
Well. Let me know when you are interested enough to maybe talk about it. In the meantime, by all means... indulge the Center of the Universe Chair. Lord knows I have. It's dam comfy. Especially when you have your comfy clothes on, and your pink fuzzy slippers... and a good romance, hot sexy fck me female chick movie on... and pop corn... with butter... and ice cream... and ooeey, gooeey chocolate...
Corri, I never really got the whole Center of the Universe Chair thing. But when you put it that way, I'm pushing LFL that non-masculine wimp, off, and now it's MY chair! And I'm grabbing the chocolate too!
No. Her H has nothing to do with it. Yet. LFL is NOT accepting herself. And that is causing her problems. When we do not accept ourselves for Who We Are... we sit in the CotU Chair.
Personally, LFL... I think you are the masculine in the sexual R. And you haven't yet accepted it.
Yeah, that's the feeling I get from LFL. That's also the feeling I get from my W, and the feeling I got from you about a year ago. I don't get the feeling from you anymore. You have seriously changed. LFL is still LFL, the warrior chick.
BUT, I'm not sure why that is. Either that is wo she truly is, or the warrior chick is just a cover-up for scared little LFL, sort of like scared Corri or scared MrsCobra.
LFL,
I'm sure I don't make sense to you half the time Cobra because I'm not always the most logical person and too emotional.
No, to tell you the truth, your emotions do not bother me, at least not on this BB. Now if we met in real life and you went into a rage and could not control yourself, that would be a different story. Then you'd start hitting my buttons. But I actually LIKE the swing of women's emotions. I just don't like it when they go to extreme and turn into an assault.
I want to think on this too because my W tries to be the masculine energy, though she does not think she is either.
It's dam comfy. Especially when you have your comfy clothes on, and your pink fuzzy slippers... and a good romance, hot sexy fck me female chick movie on... and pop corn... with butter... and ice cream... and ooeey, gooeey chocolate...