What is wrong with dating/fcking while you look for The One?
Well, according to the book there is nothing wrong with dating around but if you f*ck a guy you don't really like or you're not sure if you like the chemicals might make you start thinking that you do like him, thus the title of the book. So, unless you can f*ck like a man without any emotional connection you might want to think twice. For instance, I can't be like BF because when men cuddle with me I have to cuddle back and thereby risk seriously high levels of oxytocin. Okay, that doesn't sound very differentiated so let me rephrase. When men cuddle with me I will pretty much always choose to cuddle back because otherwise I will feel like I am sending some cold *ss karma out into the universe. So I guess my value system states "I will not have sex with men with whom I am unwilling to cuddle."
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And if for some reason you think the person might have the qualities on Your List... then you are going to have to show a bit of discipline (which you get from your Swan, btw. Cows don't give a sh!t one way or the other), and NOT have hot monkey sex before you make your initial assessment. It can usually be done within 5 dates.
Actually, many of my dating guides have indicated that the more mature male will generally not try to initiate sex until after a few dates because they've been around the block themselves a few times and understand the downside of the whole chemical thing too. I am quite certain that I can avoid initiating sex now that I am no longer in need of validation. Actually, I do have a certain level of reserve. For instance, I can't even think of a time when I touched a boy/man for the first time before he touched me and I pretty much don't ever let men to whom I'm not attracted get near me. I'm generally just HIGHLY sexually responsive and VERY easily aroused. It's funny because I was sort of whining to my sister along the lines of "How am I going to find another guy who will make me orgasm 8x?" and she pointed out to me that I'm the one who orgasmed 8x so it shouldn't be that hard.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
