24 or so, Saturday evening went this way, I went to the dentist to do a deep cleaning of my teeth (right side). My right side of my mouth was still swollen after the procedure and W saw my face looked funny. I asked her what she wanted to eat for lunch and she said bbq but she also said I talked funny. I laughed and she cracked up. W laughed so hard that I was in tears laughing too. We had not had a good laugh like this in a very long time. W even took pics of the way I looked, kinda looking disfigured.
I ordered some bbq for a late lunch since we had a huge breakfast and we werent too hungry. We had lunch together and she really enjoyed that, then W said she has a lot of clothes that needed to be folded up. I went into the bedroom and began folding up the clothes and W sat on the bed and we were talking and she began to help. We have not done this in a very long time too. I felt so happy for once we can coordinate together and not be angry with each other. W said if I can put up the clothes in the dressers too and I did. I cleaned up the kitchen and asked D to help which she like to do.
Later, I told W is was going to church and W said if I can go on Sunday since she didnt wanted to be home alone. I said that is fine and I had planned to have a blockbuster night and eat bbq I had bought for lunch/dinner for us. W said she wanted a drink from Smoothie King so I looked for one and it was 7 miles from our location. W said she wanted to take a little drive since she had been doing her assignments and wanted to get away. I printed the map and we went off. I passed the Smoothie King by 1 block and W was telling me where to u-turn and I didnt listen to her but u-turned in a different direction. Then I was at a light and the street had both paved gravel and paved tar. One of my front tire didnt had good traction of the tar and screached. Immediately, W said 'you cant even control this car...' I said 'damn <@#$%^&*(> acutally held back my thought.' I proceeded to SK and parked the car.
I went into SK and was greeted by a cute college girl and she smiled at me. Im like this is nice from hearing crap about my driving to welcome to SK with a smile. I placed my order and wasnt being nice to the girl but was thinking hmmm I need to come to SK more often. It rebuilded my positive attitude and I went back into the car without being pissy about the comment.
We drove home and D was already asleep so I carried her to her bed. Prior to that, D was in the bedroom after clearing the bed of the clothes and W was telling D to tell me to leave the bedroom. W told her to tell Daddy to go away, D didnt do it and D said, mommy dont tell daddy to go away. D keep on telling W not to be telling daddy about anything and W was just shocked. Then D hugged me and kiss me on my cheek and held me so tight while looking at mommy and just being attached to her daddy.
I didnt tell W nothing about this but W made a smart remark by saying when daddy left then it was only you and I. As if D can remember so. I didnt even got into that conversation but it made me feel so special that D and I are closer than ever. I spend a lot of time with D and D is always out with me on weekends.
This is a good example of why I am willing to work on the M & R cause I cannot see our D hurt at this young age, D can go back to W and tell her that if H was willing to try even after he did all those things, why didnt you atleast try to work with him (whenever D gets older she can understand). I will left this decision up to W. As to I wont hold any guilts for W not wanting to make this right for our family. I dont instill on our D that mommy and daddy will not live together as to she is too young to understand.
I rememeber when I was 3 1/2 yrs old when my mom immigrated to US and I cried and cried. By 6, I could not recall who was my mom, I knew I had one but all my memories had faded. My grandmother was the mother I knew. I dont want to see this happend to our D and this is what I am trying to stress to my W. But W isnt seeing this in this perspective.
W is planning to leave within 14 days to be exact is approx 11 days from now. W is all excited by I am only playing it by ear. I cannot stop her and I cannot do a LRT on her. W needs to make the decision to forgive me and to start the healing process. Alone I have put in a lot of efforts.
Lastnight, W said her computer is not doing any updates. I asked her if she checked all her settings. W said yes but continued to say that ' did you f***** with my computer?' I said damn and shut up. I said positive attitude J, positive attitude. I left that guilt feeling up to her. W has her computer password protected and her cell phone too. If you dont have anything to hide, then why all the protection. W knows I can get into her cellphone and computer hence the accusations. I can do this if I want to but I chose not to since I dont need to be following up on her every move.
I asked W is she was finished with her assignments she said I should know since I am spying on her. I kept on watching the news and shut up. What a freaking response but its ok I dont need a coronary over her own guilt. I will keep on let her be and make her think that her computer is keylogged and I know everything she does on her computer. Let her have that sense that I know the only way she can come tru any feeling of guilt is to give me information I dont know.
See the W, Listen to the W, but dont Speak back to the W. Bridle your tongue...
I am sorry to hear about all that spewing! Its sounds like to me she take you for granted. What happens when you stop helping her w/ all the chores and being so nice? You did good in your NOT reacting! Keep it up!
W said she's not a HW and I dont want her to be one. I have always did my part and if she wanted to do anything else that was up to her but I havent asked her to do anything. It has always been that way and she did more before she was legal to work. Then I was supportive in any direction and still supportive now.
Yep I agree.
Today my apt mgmt called. Interesting and unexpected call. They asked how long is W living with me. I didnt know what to say as to I was shocked. Then they said that they had an inquiry about her from July so I said she has been living with me since then. They said that I voilated my lease and can be evicted. They said the mgr will call me tomorrow. I emailed W and told her what's going on. All W said was she was sorry and she will be moving out on the 28th. I told her that I really dont have a choice since I never told them that you were even visiting and now stayed her since July. I am sure that the only choice I have is to get a 2 bedroom apt here but W said I will be stuck with a 2 bedroom apt when I only need one.
Now w said it will be okay for me to move in with her. I told her what other choice do I have now. I just resigned my lease a week ago but it dont matter now. I told W I dont have any money to move or intended to move. In any direction, we will move either if mgr tell me to get a 2 bedroom or they evict me.
I will let W feel guilty about this since we never discuss where she will be moving to as she didnt wanted to let me know. Now I know and its not in my favor. I wondered what she told OM about this. Kinda interesting now.
W said that her new place I can stay temporarily. I guess I can stay 9 months and then tell her I am moving out just the same how she did to me. Look at this, all W's stuff is in storage. I will move all that stuff out simply to put all of mine in. Its like a revolving door. God works in mysterious ways!
I will know for sure tomorrow what options I have and they know what to do.
See the W, Listen to the W, but dont Speak back to the W. Bridle your tongue...
