I personally don't know how some of you can hold all these secrets in. The moment I knew about my H's affair was the moment I started calling everyone on the planet to tell them about it (His mom, sisters, my family, friends, co-workers, yada yada...).

Hey LO, ask your husband what he thinks about having an "open marriage." And when you discuss this with him talk about it as if you think it might be the answer to all your problems. He doesn't need to feel guilty or bad about maintaining contact with OW, and you don't need to be upset about him keeping contact with her since you both have this "agreement".. of course, he can't be upset about you talking with any other men ... It's the perfect answer!

I mentioned this to my H in the early weeks of reconciliation and he was not too pleased with the idea. Funny how they can dish this stuff out, but they can't take it.

There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.