When to move back in together?

[cat03]

we, the cheated on spouses, tend to forget that our Ss where the one who allowed the op in their lives. Yes, I also have had those vengeful scenarious figured out if I were ever to meet the op, but you know what? I've come to realize that it is not about the op, it was about my H giving in to lust, his weakness of character. He lied to op right and left and she thought she could have something with him (you have no idea what Hs say to ows "i'm divorced" "im divorcing" "the divorce will b ready any second" "i might as well be divorce so lets..." etc etc.
So let's not forget who's really at fault here, I dare to say, 9 out of 10 times our Ss are the ones who seeked out op, not the other way around. Am I jelous when I think of op and H? yes, but brooding on the op is just misplaced energy, she isnt' worth my time.
So thinking of murderous thoughts towards op just makes us bitter, i'm glad you, the girl, have let that anger go.