I have an appt with a mortgage acct manager this afternoon - first time I've ever dealt with this stuff on my own! H can get me 1.5% off any fixed rate mortgage, so I'm in for some serious negotiating.
Life isn't about finding yourself; it's about creating yourself My thread: Trusting God's Plan
Good for you in taking this step! Empowering isn't it?
Having recently gone through this, I will share my observations. What I did was simply take a bullet point list of my needs with a few assumptions. The list included the amount I was looking to finance, my assumed credit score, (which I already knew) the term of the loan, copies of my employement records (check stubs), W2's and tax statements. I then asked for each mortage company to provide me a itemized list of closing cost, title fees, intrest rate and monthly payment with escrow.
What I found was suprising. I went to 4 lenders. 1 was a bank, 1 was a credit union and 2 were mortage lenders. The credit union only called me with the info. ( I had supplied fax numbers, addressed and offered to come back and discuss) 1 of the mortage lenders wrote their proposal on the back of the envelope I brought my stuff in and the other two actually gave me what I asked for. Needless to say, I didn't go with the 2 who didn't provide me the simple service I asked for. In reality all of the quotes I received were very close in cost. In comparing apples to apples from my list, it made things easy to see.
Prepare your "list" of needs to insure you are doing the apples to apples comparison. AS with everything, be careful of the good deal. Typically, it is good for someone other than the customer. No need to rush into anything. Stay away from the variable rate and intrest only mortgage and lock in a rate at the shortest term you can afford. I"m sure you've heard of the mortgagae issues going on in the US. The reason is the marketing of the "good deal".
Yes, it is exciting and empowering! That's actually why I decided to do it myself, Lissie. I wanted to do this, the last hurdle, withOUT H's help.
Today, I met w/ an acct manager at a big bank (not H's). I told him H can get me 1.5% off the posted rate of any fixed-rate mortgage, and that I would want them to match that. He has to get approval from a higher-up, but if I move all my stuff there (investments, etc), it could be possible.
Another bank took three days to get back to me, and I had to call twice! I am still waiting to hear from their mortgage specialist to get an appt. Not impressed.
I want a five-year fixed rate, as it goes up substantially after that. The interest rates here went up a couple of months ago by about 1%, and will probably go up another 1% by the end of the year (Bank of Canada is trying to keep inflation down), so want to lock in ASAP.
In other news, D10 is not happy with her French teacher - she is in an immersion school with half English and half French. Her French teacher this year is old-school French (not quebecoise). I had some of those in school, too, and it is not fun. She is big on severe discipline and FIVE kids actually cried yesterday, including three BOYS!!! And my D. Anyway, her English teacher is lovely - one of the best in the school, so that's good.
S5 is doing okay in K, although he has cried a couple of times this week when I drop him off. I think he realizes now that it's for real!
I am back to volunteering at the school library on Friday mornings, and my kids really like that. I do, too, although I almost didn't do it this year b/c of time constraints, but it really means a lot to them to have me involved in their school.
That's it for now - time to get some work done!
Life isn't about finding yourself; it's about creating yourself My thread: Trusting God's Plan
I feel for your D10!! I moved to Winterpeg as I entered grade 7 and as a Yank, I had zip, zero nadda exposure to French so I was behind before I stated. Thankfully, it became an elective in high school, but then I had to deal with Shakespeare!
Glad to hear your meeting has promise. It is amazing what we can accomplish if we desire.
D10 is actually a very good student and good in French. Immersion here is totally French K-2, then 50/50, and her best friends - our neighbours - are francophone, so she gets a lot of practice.
D10 forgot her composition notebook yesterday, and the teacher wrote me a note telling me I'd have to go over her rough draft w/ her b/c the teacher couldn't do it yesterday! Luckily, my French is good, but that's not the case for all the parents. I guess she figured it would be more of a punishment for D10 b/c she won't get the corrections done, but she doesn't know me - I even taught her a new verb tense, lol!!
Life isn't about finding yourself; it's about creating yourself My thread: Trusting God's Plan
Nicola, I think that it's great that you're taking the time to volunteer in your kids' school. It makes a huge difference to my students to know that their families are involved, although they'd rather suffer water torture than admit it!
Good for you for taking this mortgage challenge on! I think I can hear you roar all the way out here...
Well the day has come. The day that I dreaded, expected yet didn't expect.
I just got an email from H telling me that he and his gf are engaged. No date set, but he was letting me know before he tells the kids.
I am in shock.
I kind of thought he might marry her b/c she is in a position that she would want to get married (32, one kid who is 5), but at the same time, I am just so hurt.
He told me last November that he wasn't the type who could be married, that he couldn't be faithful or emotionally intimate. And now, he is going to say the same vows he said to me, to someone else.
I know I'm better off w/o him, but my God, this hurts. I can't believe that he gets to find happiness while I'm still alone. It sucks!
Please, please post with some support. I am at work and I have to teach in an hour. I don't know how I'm going to do it.
Oh, I emailed him back and said, "Thanks for telling me and I hope that you will be happy together."
N
Life isn't about finding yourself; it's about creating yourself My thread: Trusting God's Plan
Well the day has come. The day that I dreaded, expected yet didn't expect.
I just got an email from H telling me that he and his gf are engaged. No date set, but he was letting me know before he tells the kids.
I am in shock.
I kind of thought he might marry her b/c she is in a position that she would want to get married (32, one kid who is 5), but at the same time, I am just so hurt.
He told me last November that he wasn't the type who could be married, that he couldn't be faithful or emotionally intimate. And now, he is going to say the same vows he said to me, to someone else.
I know I'm better off w/o him, but my God, this hurts. I can't believe that he gets to find happiness while I'm still alone. It sucks!
Please, please post with some support. I am at work and I have to teach in an hour. I don't know how I'm going to do it.
Oh, I emailed him back and said, "Thanks for telling me and I hope that you will be happy together."
N
Life isn't about finding yourself; it's about creating yourself My thread: Trusting God's Plan
I think we're given these shocks to push us forward in our own emotional healing and detaching. The thing you feared most, came true. I also went through some similar things.
The best thing is, once you face it, and really keep talking to yourself that you are better off, you are emotionally detached.
I promise you, this will be for the best for your emotional healing. I know it. It will be painful at first, but you will see how much it pushes you to the path you were meant to be on, and heals you and opens your heart to someone new and better. If you were still hung on H like this, you could not make room for someone new in your life.
You will have love again in your life. Better than your H. There will come a day when you thank him for leaving you, and you think back to the pain, and look in the face of the love of your life and say "ahhhhh, THIS is why I went through that pain, to finally see what real love is....and for that, I will do it a million times over."
I will tell you this again and again. You are so much better off without your H, from the things you told us about him. SO MUCH.
You keep assuming he is some wonderful, caring, deep and amazing man.....as if he has faced his issues of infidelity, emotional retardedness, and all that. You assume he is the man you wanted him to be all through your M.
HE IS NOT. He is simply with someone who will take him as he is. You could not. Nor should you.
So, they will likely be happy, because they fit. They match. They are each others type.
You are amazing, deep, insightful, have grown, beautiful, and intelligent. I know that from knowing you here. You have grown and will continue to heal your self-esteem to finally be at a point in your life where you choose a man worthy of you, the right man.
My love to you.
Consider this a blessing of sorts.....finally, H is totally unavailable for you to move forward without looking back.
