Lisa as you know my H and I split and reconciled once before. While he was away I was desperate for him to come home. Once he came home and confessed to cheating although I was saying I wanted to work things out I was also thinking 'Why the hell should I'. Although I didn't read DB until this time around I did at that time what it suggests. I faked it until I made it. In other words I acted as if I wanted him home and to work on things until I knew in my own mind that this was exactly what I wanted. It took a while for the hurt and humiliation to lessen (it never goes away) before I could truely feel love for him again. I suspect if you trawl the piecing forum you will find many simialar experiences. How you are feeling is I believe normal. How you choose to deal with it is an individual response but one you have to be 100% certain of before you act.
Let me pose this question to you. If you ended it all now and then a few months down the line realised you had made a mistake would B show you the same compassion as you have done for him several times? If the answer is no then don't leave unless you are adamant that this is really what you want. However the flip side of that is does he love you as much as you clearly love him (despite your protests) and if not can you live with that?
Me 43 XH 45 M 2.7.88 Divorce 7.10.09 Kids D20,S17 & D15
