With your understanding of differentiation, self validation, etc, why would you give someone else the power to determine what you like? Your statement seems to put you into a self fulfilling prophecy mode. Can I assume that you actually might like WASP types, but have built a wall against them because you were rejected by a WASP at some time? So now you react as if touching a hot stove, without testing whether the stove is even turned on or not. In other words, putting out the vibe that a WASP is going to reject you might be the factor that causes him to reject you.
Actually, kind of the opposite is true. I was trying to validate myself for being "nice" by thinking that I don't like WASP types because they don't like me. Really I don't like them because they bore me. Of course, I'm speaking more of a cultural type than an ethnic type. I once dated a guy whose main interests were golf, money, drinking and golf. I can't even remember the sex. Really, I shouldn't say that I'm not attracted to WASPs because what I'm really not attracted to is men who drink a good deal and therefore spend their recreational time doing things that would be deathly boring to anyone who doesn't like to drink. I would include my 2bx in this category. However, I also don't like an emphasis on Puritanical propriety or keeping up with the Jones's which I also throw into the WASP cultural basket because I find both of these tendencies lead to things that bore me also. Like gated communities with generic landscaping and repressed sexuality.
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Here’s another example of the same mind process, IMO. You obviously have created some sort of fantasy image of your NG, being semi-famous in his field, whatever that means. As long as you can maintain that image, he is attractive to you. Once the image is shattered, he is not. Nothing changed with him. The only thing that changed was the gap between your fantasy and reality.
No. Not true. He was attractive to me either way. The problem was that he was "too" attractive to me if I thought about the sexy things for which he was semi-famous. I wanted to just see him for who he was and I could much of the time but the combination of the great sex and ego-gratification gave me too much of a chemical buzz. It's not like I'm unique in that regard. Also, women are attracted to men who are successful for the same reason that men are attracted to women who are physically attractive. Understanding that factor doesn't negate it. We all can strive to be "better" than that but...
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
