Truly Piecing once and for all!

[Heartbroken]

Hello Everyone!

Time for an update: We made it to our 17th wedding anniversary! Yeah! It was this past Saturday. We went to dinner and a local pub - but really came home to talk and cuddle. I got him a boater's watch - to reflect the time I gave him a watch on our wedding day. If you would have told me a year ago that we would be doing as well as we are I would not have believed you...

He still cannot tell me ILY - so I tend to hold back on mine for fear of pressuring him. It's hard to say too when you know he cannot say it back. We seem fine overall but he says he has alot of work on himself to do yet. I am confused by this - I ask if it's over OW and he says no. Not sure what his demons really are at this point.

One statement he made this weekend is he is going to let life steer him for awhile and stop trying to control and steer life - he just wants to enjoy his wife and kids and his family. I have tons of fears still about OW (I see her almost daily at the school - remember she was a VERY good friend of mine) but it has been over two mos with zero contact from her - at least this is what he says...

I trust him almost too much at this stage in our lives - but he's my best friend and my heart wants nothing more than to be with him and be a family.

I had some serious bouts of sadness driving in to work (after seeing OW this AM)

I started thinking about H and OW being together at that apt this past spring and it brought on an instant depression. Made myself think of a stop sign and that seemed to help.

Question out to you veterans: Is H going through a normal emotional path right now? I mean I am not expecting him to say ILY and I honestly do not even question him on it - I just figure it will take time from what I have read. It's just hard at times when we disagree on something -I get these fears he will start to hate the day to day life once again and try to leave - though he says this is not even on his mind. I really need to work on my fears and I am careful not to express them to him (at least most of the time) but will I ever be fully relaxed????

So yes piecing is going okay but it is still hard work - do not get me wrong - I am grateful to be here considering the alternative!

I pray for many more WAS to snap out of it before it's to late for their families...

Have a great week and thanks for your feedback!!

HB