Yes. In writing is good. Any verbal agreements may not be upheld either by your H or the law courts. Be careful what you write down - you may be stuck with it.
Yes. In writing is good. Any verbal agreements may not be upheld either by your H or the law courts. Be careful what you write down - you may be stuck with it.
I agree that in writing sounds good, but to be honest, I'm worried about involving lawyers. I think I'll have to get over that, though, and strike while the iron's hot.
I'm not even sure what H is thinking: he'll support me until ... the kids are grown? I remarry? I die? And getting answers to those questions will be scary.
Could support you til all three although last one unlikely. Kids are grown likely.
You'll never be sure what H is thinking because he is crazy, justifying his crazy world and actions. Once you accept you are the sane one and stop dancing attendance to his crazy tune, you'll be free and be able to see him and your situation with unblinkered eyes.
He's sounding less and less crazy these days, which wigs me out, to an extent. I wish I knew how to be free from worrying about all this, though. I'm working on it, focusing on what I need to do for me (emotionally, which unfortunately includes thinking about the M). How do I get those blinkers removed?
He's sounding less and less crazy these days, which wigs me out, to an extent. I wish I knew how to be free from worrying about all this, though. I'm working on it, focusing on what I need to do for me (emotionally, which unfortunately includes thinking about the M). How do I get those blinkers removed?
Stop thinking about 'it', stop thinking about the 'M'. You can only move onto those areas when H is committed to working on M. otherwise, it's wasting precioue energy you could put into you and your plan for the future. have you planned what you and the kids are going to do in the future? I mean a real plan not the self-pity plan.
He's sounding less and less crazy these days, which wigs me out, to an extent. I wish I knew how to be free from worrying about all this, though. I'm working on it, focusing on what I need to do for me (emotionally, which unfortunately includes thinking about the M). How do I get those blinkers removed?
Sorry about the triple post. Part of what I want to work on for me is being honest emotionally, and that's going to start with me telling H how I feel. (I'll post before I do that; I'm just gathering thoughts right now.)
I've thought just a little about what I'm going to do in the future. I don't have a problem with being on my own with the kids; that'll all be fine. The financial stuff is the part that scares me, so my big thinking has to be what I'm going to do for money in the future. I'll never be able to earn what H does, and part of me hates the idea that I'll be dependent on him financially. So I'll have to figure something out.
Today I was thinking, hmmmm, maybe I should move to Paris...
Stop thinking about It and the M, focus on the practical for you, not the emotional. Wigs you out - you're buying into his crazy spiel. Blinking removal: try Phil Collins 'Separate Lives' on You tube. Wonderful- Brit too!
