I LOVE living alone

[forever21]

Happy Sunday, all.

Hope you're having a super nice day with your DD, HS. Thank you very much for your post!

One of the things that I noticed about you right off in Denver was that you expect to be treated a certain way and will not accept less from others. It wasn't anything you said or did, it was just how you carried yourself. I'm glad to see it's carrying over to him too.

I have worked really hard to get where I am, but I'm enjoying it. Communication/interaction with others is one of those areas that I learned I needed to work on more intensely to get to where I want to be. I knew right away last year that I wanted to truly change the dynamics of our R this time around. These sitches create a great opportunity for working on this, not just with our S but everyone around us. I guess because the challenge is greater and we very much need more respect or whatever it might be at times like this, so that helps provide the motivation. These boards are just really great for that too. It's all good practice. DB everyone, right?

I don't think anyone can say you didn't try.

This is something I brought up to my C on Friday. I tend to always find more I can do, and was concerned about doing that forever. I asked him if I was just crazy to still be working at this... knowing what I'd be getting into if I were to reconcile with my H. He said sure, but that wasn't a bad thing. That you need to know you did everything you could, and went on to remind me that I'm not doing more of the same this time. Also, that it's a win-win... I'm continuing to grow and get stronger, and my H is benefiting because he's getting to grow too.

So, here I am... thinking/seeing there is more I can do. Crazy, but in a good way. SURE glad I had that convo with my doc yesterday. I play devils' advocate in my head a lot. I think that's good when it comes to things like M. I'm not a quitter, and I like to look for solutions. That's certainly a strength of mine, and I'm proud to be this strong.

I'm realizing that this may just be what my I needed to do to send a clear message that I am done with lies and disrespect, and ready to be wooed. We will see very soon.

His messages made me crack up too. They sounded like the high school jock trying to bully the head cheerleader into staying with him. They lacked any maturity whatsoever. As for what's on his plate, it's all helpings he served himself.

I know. It's sad. I agree... he's not talking me into feeling like I'm serving him up anything he didn't beg for. Things aren't going the way he wanted. Time to grow up or lose your wife, buddy.

I know most of us LBS here needed the bombs to be dropped to help us start our real changes. People can certainly change, but we need serious motivation to make them in big and lasting ways. My H said he regretted not using the opportunity to do that when I left him in 2003, so we'll see what he does this time. If you believe that past behavior is the best prediction for future behavior though, the odds are against him.

Maybe this was how clear I had to be, and I'm doing him and our M a favor. Maybe he was just doing what he knew, and thinking (well, not really a whole lot of thinking going on there, but you know what I mean) he might be able to get away with more (testing, in a way), since I hadn't alienated him after I caught him being evasive. It's tough. I didn't feel the need to be that hard, as I didn't take it personally and I thought he was trying. I guess I'm still too much of a softy.

And now . . ..

. . . How YOU doin'?

I'm doing really good. Well, great actually! Thanks for asking!

Hope you're all having an awesome weekend!