Did you read DB already and fix a list with your personal goals? That is the very first step.
Then you stop listening to common music and fix yourself a playlist with new songs or "hymns" - just like in Ally McBeal - which give you strength and power. Listen to it everyday. As often as you can. There is a good song by MaryMary called "Put your shackles off my feet so I can dance" - this one helped me a lot after separation from my Ds Dad 8 years ago.
I am sure you'll have similar "hymns".
You need to stop thinking about HER. She is just a symptom of your M not working out right. A mechanism for him to not need to think about what he could have been working out with you better. Just like a drug or alcohol.
You need to see him as a "helpless" person who was so far lacking of means to live up to his relationship goals. Or to you even maybe. Then you need to see what YOU contributed to the situation "by always doing the same". Have you done that already?
Well - If you need some more advice just ask me! I am very good in giving some of it but also need some kicks to get myself going really.... ;-)
