LOL- No, what I'm "waking up" to is how this cultural tendency effects a woman like me who naturally tends towards being childlike and cerebral. I think maybe John Wayne is to the bunny as Zorba is to the monkey.
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anyway, I still don't get wtf happened w/ NG? Seemed like a nice fellow? what happened?
I'm still kind of trying to figure that out myself. He was mostly the right kind of guy for me. Interacting with him made me realize that the dysfunctional part of my HD could disappear in relation to a man who was willing to have sex with me even if he wasn't feeling monkey himself out of a Zorba spirit of emotional generosity rather than a John Wayne sense of duty. I think the reason this is true is that I've pretty much never turned a guy down for sex with whom I've been in relationship and the reason why, which I think is hard for most men and most LD women to understand, is that even if I'm not horny I choose to have sex in order to be caring because I understand that sexual desire can be a form of "pain". I do it for the same reason that I will almost always prepare food for someone I love who is hungry even if I'm not hungry myself. That is also the reason why I generally regard my sexuality as something that is "good." So when I see the same tendency in a man it comforts me.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
