All hope is lost/help

[Evie]

Hi all,

Just got back as myself and d's have been away for th w/e to see a show. H had s's.

H finished some decorating, took the boys out for dinner and did a lot of housework (but not son's homework....bit cross about that as I've had to do the stuff required for tomorrow). I cut the w/e trip short to be back by mid day to go to work with H. I was a bit cross about H saying he did the housework because the house was a pit. I do more than a lot of women I know and I do do housework. When i said as much, he said yes but the girls don't....(again is it a grudge towards the girls?).

I know I should look at the positives of what he has done over the weekend, like the housework and decorating and looking after the boys. But I do it all as a matter of course everyday. Am i been unreasonable and unfair?

I have asked him today if he will bath boys and put them to bed when he has an early finish from work ( once a week, but its a start, its a plan). He said he will!!!

Cat - as far as a plan is concerned, I have started to think further in the future and of facing it alone. H has said he will let me stay in the house for 6 months and he will still pay the bills. He always takes the boys to school because I start work at 7am, but I always collect. I would be making things difficult for myself if i stopped him collecting the boys in the mornings. He's hardly around early evening due to his work, so in many ways i've always coped with the kids on my own, from a practical point of view i think i will be ok. Emotionally??????

We've talked about what we have all done over the weekend, but I don't feel connected to him, I feel really lonely. I feel as if he has distanced even more from me and probably just about tolerates me.. I know H has said he doesnt love me and as you say probably doesn't even consider it could be a MLC..

I was quite down and angry with H until I logged on and saw your advice and support. Many thanks, it means a lot.

Cat -What have you learned from the books and have you applied the advise with positive results?

Keep inner peace and calm.

xD