I called the house today to talk to D11. I wanted to go get her tomorrow and spend some time together. Her Dad answered. He was home because yesterday evening, she fell in the yard and they ended up in the emergency room. She's on crutches. Her ankle is sprained. How long do you suppose it would have been til I found out had I not called? It would have been never. I didn't say anything about that though. It's just what I feel. Anyway, I asked to talk to her after telling Jeff my plans for tomorrow...I heard her saying "no" so I gathered she did not want to talk to me. So I told him that was fine, I wasn't forcing her. He handed her the phone anyway. I told her I had heard her saying she didn't want to talk to me and that was fine. I had made plans for us but I am not going to make her talk to me or anything else and she said okay so I said bye.
I am so sick of this. I haven't even done anything but try to make sure she took care of the stuff her Dad won't insist upon. I don't want to do this anymore. If they don't want me around why should I force myself on either of them? For that matter, all friggin 3 of them can just have a blast next weekend at S14's party. I had all kinds of fun stuff planned for D and her friend but my heart's not in it anymore. Anytime she is nice or acts like she loves me it's because I'm doing something she wants me to do. I don't even know why I try. And if it sounds like I'm being a cry-baby, well tough sh*t. This part hurts more than I can take. I've always been very close to both of my kids and now one doesn't even want to talk to me.
As I was reading how you feel rejected, I couldn't help but think that's how God must feel often -- we don't appreciate what He does for us and He waits for us to come to Him, but we stay away.
I'm sorry -- I'm in a weird place tonight and that's just how it struck me. He understands how you feel and He's holding you close, girl. Wish I could give you a hug too. Better yet, I wish we could all show up at *KS*Chick's bonfire :p
relationships with kids/ teenagers are sometime just as much as a roller coaster as the rest of the BS we encounter.
you know the drill
Yeah, these days our D16 finds EVERYTHING W does to be 'irritating' and she doesn't want to hang around her. D12 was pretty close to W but lately she's been swinging back and forth. Of course, like Amy, W is often feeling rejected and unwanted by her babies. Luckily she has me.
I called the house today to talk to D11. I wanted to go get her tomorrow and spend some time together. Her Dad answered. He was home because yesterday evening, she fell in the yard and they ended up in the emergency room. She's on crutches. Her ankle is sprained. How long do you suppose it would have been til I found out had I not called? It would have been never.
Ummmm.... Amy, he has to know just how wrong keeping this from you was. Address it and let him know that should anything of this nature ever happen again you should be called at the first available moment. You are her mother whether she lives with you physically or not and he should respect you as her parent. Crap like this fires me up!!!
I didn't say anything about that though. It's just what I feel. Anyway, I asked to talk to her after telling Jeff my plans for tomorrow...I heard her saying "no" so I gathered she did not want to talk to me. So I told him that was fine, I wasn't forcing her. He handed her the phone anyway. I told her I had heard her saying she didn't want to talk to me and that was fine. I had made plans for us but I am not going to make her talk to me or anything else and she said okay so I said bye.
It's hard when we are hurt and rejected to think logically and without emotion getting involved. After some time to think... I hope you will call her back and tell her how hurtful to you and rude that was of her. I can't help thinking that she is avoiding dealing with you because she has all this mass of emotions going on inside herself. You said before that her dads drinking bothered her at one time and she has since become the enabler. My God Amy, look at what enabling him did to you .... she is just a child trying her best to deal with grown up things in a grown up way. I know this is breaking your heart but you can't watch her breakdown forming.... you gotta act. I'm not trying to tell you things you already know.... but pleading with you to intercede ASAP.... waiting for the right opportunity might be too much of a risk.
I am so sick of this. I haven't even done anything but try to make sure she took care of the stuff her Dad won't insist upon. I don't want to do this anymore. If they don't want me around why should I force myself on either of them?
[Because you are her mother and his wife.... both of which have their own thankless days.... never the less, we keep pressing on.
For that matter, all friggin 3 of them can just have a blast next weekend at S14's party. I had all kinds of fun stuff planned for D and her friend but my heart's not in it anymore. Anytime she is nice or acts like she loves me it's because I'm doing something she wants me to do. I don't even know why I try.
C'mon Amy.... you're hurt and angry. And this sounds like it came from one of the kids. You are an already mature wonderful Christian lady... this just shows how we all still have those broken, struggling hearts still crying out from within. I'm praying for strength and trying to encourage you.... I so hope this is coming across in the right way.
And if it sounds like I'm being a cry-baby, well tough sh*t. This part hurts more than I can take. I've always been very close to both of my kids and now one doesn't even want to talk to me.
Always having to be the grown up does hurt. Thankfully the Lord allows us to crawl up in his lap and be comforted because we are all his children and he is a tenderhearted father.
Sending you great big cyber bear hugs girlie..... this too shall pass.
Last edited by lost-n-found; 09/15/0703:45 AM.
Psa 51:10 Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.
I was home alone last night as S14 had left at noon to go to Lunatic Luau with his Uncle (that set me a prayin' - it's a massive outdoor rock concert that lasts about 12 hours! It was his first concert period).
Anyway, a little before 11pm, I went downstairs to watch the news and I heard all kinds of crying going on outside my front door so I went to take a look and there she was. She was a little baby kitten and she was meowing her head off. I figured she must have lost her mother - these are wild cats that live behind the apartments. They are generally non-confrontational and they just go about their business climbing in dumpsters and sleeping in the trees. Well this one was clearly in distress so I lured her to me and picked her up. I don't think she'd ever even had human contact before because she acted so odd and afraid. Once I got her, I looked her over for fleas and there were none so I brought her inside. She was still crying. I gave her milk but she didn't know how to drink it from the bowl so I had to put it on my fingers and kinda lead her into it. That quieted her for about a minute then it was back to crying. You might recall, my daughter is an animal lover and has spent a great deal of time at a farm around the corner from the house. She's dealt with sheep, cats, ducks, trained border collies and put other dogs through agility courses. That is one of the main reasons I let her stay with her Dad; to keep her close to the farm. Anyway, I didn't know what to do with this screaming kitten so I called my daughter and she told me what to do. She told me I had to pick her up and check her pads on her feet first to make sure she wasn't hurt and then if she was okay, I was just gonna have to sit with her and talk to her. Oh and I was supposed to get D11 first thing this morning so she could see her. We hung up because the cat was screaming but D11 called me back in an hour and the cat was asleep next to me on a blanket on the couch. She curled up in my lap at one point, too. D11 told me to take her to bed with me so I did. I told her though, that if the cat started crying a lot I'd have to put her back out (we can't have pets here unless they are in a cage/aquarium). The kitten slept right up against me in the bed until 6am when she started crying again and walking on my face. I had to put her out so I didn't get D11 to come over. I don't know where the cat is now. But she got me talking to my little girl again.
**Side note** S14 came in from the concert at about 12:30am. He saw 4 fights, 1 "big, fat guy who ripped off his shirt" antagonize security and get thrown down, a girl threaten to kick a guys ass after which she puked, fell down and passed out and he saw security take down another guy and haul him off to jail. His vision of the world has just been opened much, much more than it had been at the start of the weekend. We talked about how those were grownups, too. I think my boy just got the best lesson ever as to why he should "just say no". It should also be noted that "Hinder and Papa Roach FREAKIN' ROCKED, Mom!!" .
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