Okay, so I decided that I wanted to date Santa Claus and I re-opened my two internet dating profiles last night. Both of my profiles are pretty "monkey" and therefore I think pretty well reflect the real me. This morning I open my mailbox and I have a response from a man who states that he stands for peace, love and caring for the weak. He also says that he is an openly emotional person and very physically affectionate.
Anyway, I was thinking about it and maybe I haven't made it clear because I usually talk more about "just sex" on this BB but most of the men I've dated since I have been separated have been men who have actively pursued me and have given off a very "maternal" vibe and have been a certain "type". I would say that the type of man who has always been most attracted to me, even when I was young,generally falls into the category of "ethnic city boy." Part of the reason I am not attracted to WASP types is that generally they are not attracted to me. I was actually kind of confused when this one guy who was tall, thin and blond with WASP-like features asked me out but over dinner he revealed that he was Hungarian and had grown up in Toledo.
Anyway, I was thinking about it and it seems to me that there is the tendency in our culture to equate "manliness" with the John Wayne ideal of "strong and silent" and what we mean by "silent" is someone who is reserved in their expression of emotion. Obviously, this is not the case in other cultures. Back in my less differentiated days, I wrote about wanting a man to sign the oath of Zorba the Greek before I would commit to a relationship with him. Then I realized that was wrong-minded for all sorts of reasons. Now what I am realizing is that although I have no desire to make a man sign such a contract, the fact remains that I actually want to be in a relationship with a guy who just naturally is like Zorba the Greek and I think my reasons for this are good reasons.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
