Thoughts on phone calls

[notgivnup]

Hi Bryan,
Read through most of your thread. DR and LRT definitely promote being her best friend. This also is in line with rebuilding your relationship based on friendship. I think it is a great sign that she agreed that in order to reconcile you must start there. Did she suggest that or did you? I hear in your posts that it has been hard for you when she asks for calmness from you and doesn't want to hear you being rude or moody or whatever. I think that's her way of dealing with the guilt. She wants you to be happy and upbeat so she doesn't have to think about how she has hurt you.

I know in my sitch, my H doesn't come around if I have been particularly moody or weepy. If I break down and cry he doesn't show up for days at a time. I have learned through DB/DR and my coaching that I must be his best friend while continuing to have my own life. I know avoid at all costs any tendency to be down or moody when I see or talk to him. I am just his friend and will see where it goes.

I think it is fabulous to be her friend. She may just fall in love with you again.

And long term marriages benefit from having a strong friendship as the foundation. It's what gives you respect for the other person and what gets you through the tough times.

Hope this helps even a little.