Dreaming is Free.

[frank_D]

Hi Lissie,

Sorry you're broke. I know the feeling.

I regards to your post on DNQ's thread, which locked right after you posted (so you could have the last word!)

for reference, here is My Post about communications

You said

Um, thanks Frank, I think.

I think my "supporters" are my friends, and I will back them up 100 percent too.


So maybe we should drop the issue, now ok?

thanks

Which was in reply to what I said

I think it's always good to look back at an exchange and learn from it. If we did that in our marriages we probably wouldn't have ended up here, but we're learning NOW. \:\)

Something to think about. AmyC and I talk from time to time about the power of words. I have always liked this, from the book "The Four Agreements", which I highly recommend :

Be Impeccable With Your Word.

Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

Don't Take Anything Personally.

Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

Don't Make Assumptions.

Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

Always Do Your Best.

Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.

My post wasn't a reply to support you, or defend others. Nor was it to 'discuss the issue'. It's my observations on how we hear other peoples words and use our own 'filters' to decide what they mean. I used your comments (Finally , a real man!) as an example on how we (the men) would see it as an attack on our ego. I used the responses of some of the 'men' as an example on how we stop speaking from our integrity and 'lash out'.

And I include a simple way of thinking about how we use words in our lives.

It is, like I said, and 'observation'.

I felt I was very careful to write it in such a way that nobody felt it was any kind of judgment on their situation. I meant to make a point that on the board, we bring our emotions and insecurities to every post, and every response.

For some reason, you interpreted it to be about 'you' and the posts that were 'for' or 'against' you. Yet if you re-read my post, the 'situation' was set up as an example.

And you asked me to 'drop it'. But I wasn't 'continuing it'.

The only reason I'm making this observation is that you responded the way you did. As if using your particular event as my 'model' was somehow critical of you. it wasn't, and it was never meant to be. I'm 'pushing' my 'calm down, be peaceful' agenda.

Perhaps this is something you might think about - whether or not you feel like anything that is said about some action you take is a 'criticism' or other negative feedback. There may be an insight her for you. I really don't know, I'm just putting it out there for you.

You're a good and decent woman, and I have a lot of respect for you and your actions. Please take a moment to re-read my original post, and understand that what I am saying is that when you become a person that a lot of people respect, then your words carry a lot of weight. and power.

And, as Spider Man says: "With Great power comes great responsibility"

cire2, baseballannie, amyc and many others are in this classification.

So please, remember the Four Agreements and Be Impeccable With your Word.

With love and light,

frank

[Lissie]

Frank D, I don't know what the deal is here.

I honestly and confused as to what is going on here. And you say you are not continuing it but you are.

This is the first time you post to me, and you are telling me to be impeccable with my word?

I kinda think I am.
But you are entitled to your opinion.

Perhaps this is something you might think about - whether or not you feel like anything that is said about some action you take is a 'criticism' or other negative feedback. There may be an insight her for you. I really don't know, I'm just putting it out there for you.

I didn't take anything as a negative feedback, and I don't feel criticized, so forgive me, but when my friends tell me Lis, I think you should really think about what you said, I usually do.
I will now again. I don't have a problem with that at all.

I apologize when I have made a mistake also. I don't get what bringing all this up again, has to do with anything.

I said finally a real man, and then I stated why I said that. And I Don't think I put your name in anything I said. So I don't know why you are giving me the "Four Agreements" .

It is a nice read, and I usually try to be that way.

I felt I was very careful to write it in such a way that nobody felt it was any kind of judgment on their situation. I meant to make a point that on the board, we bring our emotions and insecurities to every post, and every response.

And I kinda felt like you are pointing just me out, but maybe you are just pointing out what I said, and using it as just a general observation, it just didn't feel that way to me.

So agreeing to disagree is ok also.

I like the fact that people may not agree with me, it gives me a new way of thinking about things.

You're a good and decent woman, and I have a lot of respect for you and your actions. Please take a moment to re-read my original post, and understand that what I am saying is that when you become a person that a lot of people respect, then your words carry a lot of weight. and power.

I say what I feel, and sometimes people may agree, and sometimes they don't.

I hope I am someone that people respect, I hope that maybe one thing I say will make somebody have a better day. That is it.

"This, Finally a real man thing" must of struck a cord with you, and I don't know really why yet, it was not said towards you at all.

I know you will come back with another response, b/c I see you do that from time time to different posters, and you quote, and you usually are the one, that has to get in your last word. That is fine with me also.
I am learning how to shut it, that was one of my big lessons.

I just want to tell you that I feel I am done with this conversation, thank you for your view points have a nice day.

And, as Spider Man says: "With Great power comes great responsibility"

I am no one at all with any power. I am just a peep from this board, that is going thru a D. I have no power.

All I have is a smile for when someone needs it.

[Lissie]

Cub scouts picnic was yesterday.

M&M had a great time, I had a great time with the moms.

I left my cell phone at home, and when I came back home Puffy called 11 times.

Anyway, the kids called him back, and he asked them a million questions.

Puffy's Aunts that came from Argentina, were going back to Argentina, yesterday.

Sooo I went over to his moms house with the kids, and Puffy was there. (sigh) I didn't think he would be. He was there alone.

His aunts hugged and kissed me we cried together.

They said, to me to just be the best mom I could be and move on. I said thank you, I am trying.

I stayed for about 20 minutes with the kids, Puffy was walking back and forth, he didn't look at me in tha face. He had on a jacket I had bought him.

I felt the tension tho, so I wanted to get out of there, but the kids were happy to see him.

Sooo, since he cancelled with them On friday, they got to see Puffy yesterday on a weeekend that was not theirs, it was a nice surprise for the babies.

[Going Solo]

Okay, before anything goes any further (and because Lissie's really worried about being misunderstood here), I'd like to tranlate from Martian and Venusian for both parties.

Lissie's comment about "real men" was not intended as a slight to guys on the board. She was commenting about DNQ's posting of his sex life and how "real men" don't kiss and tell the public.

Frank's comments are not meant to be judgmental to Lissie, and he is, in fact, offering up an olive branch. However, Frank, Lissie truly does not see herself as anyone more important than others on the board (even though she is a minor celebrity here ) and really doesn't understand why her words carry so much importance to those around here. And her "drop it" comment was a general, "let's let the issue die" comment, not a direct request to you to bury your feelings.

Um, I think that should cover it and hopefully (?) smooth things over before everyone gets riled up again...

[BaseballAnnie]

Yay, Cub Scouts!

I bet Moises is so handsome and proud in his uniform. <sigh>

He can do a scouts program about horses!

You will be just the best Den Mother.

Glad the kids got to see the puff, since he backed out on them on Friday. As pitiful as he is, he's still Papi and they love him.

[Lissie]

Matt thanks for clarifying.

I think I do see what Frank is trying to say, I think I know now what has me upset.

I HATe to think that something I said hurts someone.

But I have 8 brothers, and when someone disrespects a lady, I feel like i have to speak up.

That is what I thought was happening when DNQ posted about his relations with Linda, It just made me boil.

I never thought that would strike any other's man ego on here, b/c in my mind I was not even thinking about any other man.

I am close to Smurf, and I am close to lawless, BRAVEHEART.

I said finally a real man, pretty much, b/c they mean the world to me, b/c we have been thru a really hard road.

I just shudder , I mean really shudder, to think, that anyone would think of me as more important than anyone else.

I am sorry, I love all your compliments I really do, but I am so not worthy of them most of the time, I am really just trying like anyone else.

so I think that is where another confusion of mine was taking place.

It just makes me want to hide under my desk, that you even said celebrity YIKES. shut it Matt.

Frank, you are right, I think that maybe i was very sensitive about this, b/c i don't see my POV as something that carried so much weight as you said.

Now I am going to feel like maybe , I can't say what I feel about something b/c of my "status" on this board.

I think I feel a stomach ache coming on.

Thanks Matt.

[Lissie]

YAY.

I told Mimi, that Titi Annie was a brownie, and she wants to see a pic

so time to call Lucy and Ricky.

A den mother (sigh) what an honor, I have to say.

ANd..............

the don't have port a potties when we go packing in a couple of weeks, they only have wholes in the ground

Um, I can't even think about it

[braveheart]

Matt thanks for clarifying.

I think I do see what Frank is trying to say, I think I know now what has me upset.

I HATe to think that something I said hurts someone.

But I have 8 brothers, and when someone disrespects a lady, I feel like i have to speak up.

That is what I thought was happening when DNQ posted about his relations with Linda, It just made me boil.

I never thought that would strike any other's man ego on here, b/c in my mind I was not even thinking about any other man.

I am close to Smurf, and I am close to lawless.

I said finally a real man, pretty much, b/c they mean the world to me, b/c we have been thru a really hard road.

I just shudder , I mean really shudder, to think, that anyone would think of me as more important than anyone else.

I am sorry, I love all your compliments I really do, but I am so not worthy of them most of the time, I am really just trying like anyone else.

so I think that is where another confusion of mine was taking place.

It just makes me want to hide under my desk, that you even said celebrity YIKES. shut it Matt.

Frank, you are right, I think that maybe i was very sensitive about this, b/c i don't see my POV as something that carried so much weight as you said.

Now I am going to feel like maybe , I can't say what I feel about something b/c of my "status" on this board.

I think I feel a stomach ache coming on.

Thanks Matt.

OK Lissie, I thought I WAS A REAL MAN! Kinda hurt my feelings you not mentioning me in the class of real men here! LOL

[angelica]

Lissie - I was terribly unhappy about DNQs posting - to the extent that I have completely stopped visiting his thread. I understood where you are coming from.

I have decided that when I don't like a thread and its overall content I just stop visiting it: same as with people - I don't hang around with people I don't respect.

Different from having different POVs - that strikes me as healthy.

You are a diva. Get over it!!!

Hugs A

[Lissie]

Braveheart.

I re posted. How can I forget you my lovey.

Can I blame it on the coffee? smoooches dear heart.