I've tried, but don't really get much of a response. Always ends with me saying something like, "we've *at least* got to be able to *talk* about it...".
Having said that, she has referred to a couple of things that I told her I wasn't happy with in the letter - but only the non-sexual things - so I assume she took it all in.
Originally Posted By: blackfoot
Your W has upped the affection, did you think she was going to initiate sex also?
Well I'm certainly NOT allowed to initiate it right now, so who the hell else is going to do it? The postman? The elderly couple next door? Our cat?
Originally Posted By: blackfoot
At any point did you say something along the lines of, 'head upstairs and get ready, Im making love to my W tonight'. or was the night just fraught with underlying tension and uncomfortableness?
No, I didn't say anything because I'd only have a gotten a blank response. But there was no underlying anything all night (or at least until she nodded off again), and it was actually a nice night for the most part.
Originally Posted By: blackfoot
Did you have expectation and assumption because of this? A covert contract I think Glover calls it? The long lead in and excessive foreplay freaks them out. Its too much pressure. Its too much thinking.
Yeah, maybe I did expect and assume. Although I never let on that I was expecting and assuming. I understand why I shouldn't do that, but jeez, we're married. With kids. Etc. I expect and assume that I should be able to expect and assume.
I'm really starting to feel cheated in all this.
Originally Posted By: blackfoot
Do you know how uncomfortable she is? Im not saying to excuse her because of that. But the impetus has to come from somewhere. Especially since it has been so long. Her head is not anywhere near the same place as yours.
Yep, she's clearly so uncomfortable that she can't even talk about this. I know that. I don't know where her head is, though.
Originally Posted By: blackfoot
Have you had the talk about going to counseling?
Yep. And no deal.
One almost slightly interesting thing that happened is that a sex toy catalogue came in the post the other day addressed to her. It's nothing at all to do with me, and she also denies ordering it. However, I have caught her flicking through it a couple times and when she sees that I've noticed her, or when I playfully ask her if she's seen anything in there that she's like, she'll feign disgust at some of the stuff in there and put the catalogue away. Like she's putting on some kind of 'innocent/prude' act for me to see.
Another snippet. I took a shower yesterday am (mainly to MB) and she came in to the bathroom just as I was drying off. She jokingly asked me if that's what I'd been doing and I told her "yep, feel free to join me anytime" with a wink, and she imediately clammed up. So she can talk about this stuff, but only UNTIL it begins to involve her. Make sense?
