Your story sounds very much like mine. My H said the same kind of thing about me not showing enough love when we were together, not in love w/me anymore, our marriage was a mistake, etc. My H didn't file for D (yet), but he's living w/OW.
However, once I stopped pursuing, attempting to reason w/H, and being an emotional wreck around him, he started to be more loving with me. He even admitted that he wasn't as *happy* with his new life as he was in the beginning. Surprise-surprise -- the OW isn't perfect, either! He flip-flops from very loving to strictly platonic with me, and I'm learning to ride the waves.
One good thing about divorce is it isn't an instant thing. You still have time. Stop pursuing him, and do a 180 like the DR book says. No emotional meltdowns, no ankle-clinging, and NO talking about your R. PRAY a lot, and be patient!
So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.” - Matthew 19:6
