I LOVE living alone

[forever21]

Hi Ian!

I feel like we are celebrating here in a way. I know it sounds odd too, but I feel good about myself and my decision. Really good. Even despite being tired as ever right now. It's Saturday night and I'm in for the night. Pizza's in the oven and just cracked a honey brown lager.

Thank you! Nice that you see it as I do.

Yeah, I guess it hurts some... but it's crazy, because I'm not real sad. I've had my moments, like earlier this evening when the tiredness was really hitting me and I felt sad and like I could just cry. I was feeling some of the sadness then, for sure, but I was tired. I guess I haven't let myself shed tears over him much lately. It is nice to be past that stage where you just hurt so much and are so disappointed. I am not feeling that way now, I guess because it's not surprising at this point. I have already mourned this R... and boy, do I ever know that I have. Years of disappointment and hurt. I think I had just already moved on emotionally, and am pretty much over him. I've kept my mind open to giving him another chance, but didn't hold my breath.

There comes a point in time when you realize that you need to have the necessary closure to move on with your life. You need to be able to look back and know you gave it your all so that you can get on with things and open up that door that you have had closed for so long now.

Yep, true. What you said here reminds me of a convo my C and I had yesterday. He said this is exactly what I was doing for myself... doing everything I could so that I could look back with no regrets. And I commented to him that I was in fact feeling really ready to date. He said something about guys knocking down my door, that I'm a real catch... I said "yeah, except for the fact that I'm married," lol. He said "details". lol.

His messages, well, I am honest abe so I will simply say it. They cracked me up. It's funny as hell to me that he used the old "I have so much on my plate right now" crap on you of all people. With how full your plate has been over the last year he had the balls to say this to you.

Yeah, don't ya just love what he says? He was trying to work all the angles. Poor me. Fine, you won't get to be my friend anymore. This isn't what *I* wanted. Etc. Well, I'm pretty sure this isn't what he wanted. He wanted me to always be here waiting for him, while he was off f'ing around. HA.

Bottom line J, you are going to be fine. You are a smart, funny, attractive, and wonderful woman who will have no problem on her own.

Thank you! I know I will be just fine. Actually, I think I'm gonna be GREAT.

Understand that amicable may not end up working out. He is a child and will react as a child would, he already has started. Your offering to be amicable is good enough, you have put that ball in his court so it is up to him whether you stay that way or not.

I know. I have no expectations for him.

Do not tolerate his bad behavior anymore, he is no more than a friend now so try and remember what you would accept from one of your friends. If he is insulting or condescending to you, send him on his merry way.

No worries here. Thanks for watching out for me.

To be honest, I had told Jules that after reading your prior post to this about the surfing, I was fixing to lay into you if that didn't open your eyes. It obviously did so no lecture necessary

I'm so glad to hear that, because I may've needed it.

I think I'm pretty strong. Thanks again!