It was the first real phone conversation we have had since he left 2+ years ago. He said so much. He broke down several times when the conversation turned serious. Other times, we were sharing funny stories (such as the horrible names I had called him over the past few months!) Somehow those names seemed very funny tonight. We both were crying from laughing so hard.
He talked a lot about how much he loved and missed me and the kids.
He said his family had outcast him. They were harboring the OW tonight because he told them (including her) that I was the only woman he ever loved. They expected him to hate me after the divorce, I guess.
He is leaving to go out of state to work tomorrow because he wants to get away from his family and the OW. He said he felt sorry for OW because she has no other family except his. He said she was a "good kid" and his family all liked her (I could have taken offense to this but let it go). He said many times that he didn't love her, that I was the only woman he ever loved.
I told him that I thought it was good for him to get away, but that I believed the OW would be in his life for a long time since she had no where else to go. He said no, she would have to go because he wanted to be by himself.
He said he wished he was dead for the pain he had caused me and the kids. He thinks it is too late to repair the damage.
He thanked me often for talking to him tonight.
I don't know what this meant tonight. It felt like a breakthrough, but I know how MLCers can turn on a dime.
Gosh darn, but it felt good to talk (and laugh and cry) with my old H tonight.
