The singer we had around tonight was only doing "emotional" and "meaning of live" stuff. And on top of that in a very poetical way.... Even before the concert started H went out to call OW. And then when he came back in left his little adress book on the bar. open. Recognized the number on the phone bill. Stayed cool Thanks god another friend came in at the same time so I got a bit distracted.
He sat behind me during the first set. I was getting more and more nervous, touched and sad with every song this guy was singing. Close to burst out in tears in front of everybody. Held them back tough. During the break he looked at me and then asked me if I was okay. DARN HARD TO GET ME SMILING and tell him: Yes, sure!.
Second set was even worse. He sat right in front of me so I had to basically look at him if I didn't want to move my head. Couldnt though. Songs were too emotional. He didn't look at me neither. Then after 20 minutes I had to leave the room, coz holding back my tears didnt work any longer. Sat in the bathroom for like 10 minutes sheding them. Telling me: DETACH DETACH DETACH. Over and over again. He didnt notice when I came back. After the concert he had one more beer and then left. To see OW. I am SURE.
Thanks god everyone left early so I could close down the place. But then I was like really bursting out in tears. Then talked to the singer for like half an hour. Told him about my idea that on the open-mic event at our place coming up in 2 weeks I wanted to sing. Which I haven't done for a long time. H loves it when I sing though. Even rehearsed my song already. Sung it sooooo many times.... It's DESPERADO by the Eagles in a more like jazzy version. We both went back on stage in the empty bar and I sung it on the mic. Rehearsal again. And it felt good. I now know that I WILL definitely sing that song. And he will know that I am singing it for HIM. In front of I don't know how many people. (Which I never did...) That should be my two weeks goal on TOP of all the other ones... Maybe that helps me in doing more than babysteps in achieving my goals these days.....
