This is entirely your decision--no one else has to walk in your shoes. I'm so sorry everyone is trying to talk you out of doing what you feel you need to do. When it comes down to it though, they won't be the ones looking back, wondering if there was something more they could/should have done.
I've struggled with the tough love point of view...am I violating my self esteem/respect in giving him chance after chance? I see the point of the argument, but this is MY life and my choice. I don't see how a 'one size fits all' approach works in every R. As far as my self respect goes, when I look at myself today, I know and like who I am much better than the girl I was a year ago. I'm making my choice out of my strength, rather than 'letting him get away with it'.
I do struggle a bit determining how to set and maintain boundaries. I think they need to be respectful to both of us...and I think my H can be manipulative--he knows me well and knows how to keep me where he wants me. There's always more to learn. I'd just as soon learn without paying for a D (with money and our children's emotions) if it's not absolutely necessary.
((Hugs)) hon--hang in there. There is no law saying you can't get out of this in the future if things don't work out. They're a lot more likely to work out if you stick with your current direction. IMHO.
Also, just because he moves back in does not mean everything returns to 'normal'. You can still take it slow, date, GAL and set boundaries with him in the home.
