"One day, though, when they're all grown up, I'm going to fetch my shovel up against the side of his head."
We all have to dream, don't we?
I totally understand what you mean about hoping for reconciliation. I don't want to do anything like separate checking, legal separation, visitation stuff, because I fear it will drive us farther apart. If he brings any of it up, I will agree, I suppose, because he is the one that needs the space and time. But I am not bringing it up.
