The View From the Bottom

[hopefloats7]

My bomb...the discovery of actual proof of ow, was 7/05. But there were problems a month prior and several talks where I kept asking if there was someone else. Always got a "no" answer to that, of course.

But over the couple of years before that, there were issues and episodes that indicated to me that H was growing away from me, becoming very childish in behavior and doing things that upset me as his wife. But nothing as bad as having the actual affair. I never imagined he was capable.

I think he's been depressed for years. And yes, they do fight hitting bottom; my H actually told me that last week.

I think sometimes what happens is that we, the LBS try to hold so much of our previous life together in one piece (I am guilty as charged) and while we struggle to hold the dam back from busting, they check over their shoulder every so often; if all still seems to be ok, they keep running. Perhaps it helps them to hit bottom once they truly start losing everything (at our expense though): the home, friends, maybe even family members, good standing at their job, cars, MLC 'toys', etc. As that all falls away and nothing is left, only then do they hit bottom.