Michele!
Wow. I really feel blessed to have all of this support. Now if Betsey would just come on over here, all would be complete!

Thank you for this contribution. I feel as if it fits in nicely with the things that Meredith had to say. It is all sinking in.

Last night H was here. He came in to the office where I was doing some work. He thanked me for the e-mail that I sent him regarding how I shut him down or "punish" him. He assured me that he wasn't angry about it (I had thought that he might be, as he seems to get frustrated that it takes me as long as it does to finally "get" things). He then said, "I was proud of myself for replying to you."

Now, I think that normally I would not have taken that opportunity to do anything other than stay silent. Last night, however, I turned to him and asked why he was proud. He quickly summed up his end of our communication problems by explaining:

Normally I would have read what you had to say, then felt the need to think about it. Days would have gone by, and then when I had it all figured out I would feel like it was too late to bring it up again, so I wouldn't.

I smiled at him and said, "Well, then I am proud of you, too."

And, I meant it. I do not feel "too little, too late." I feel good that we can still work on this. We will be in each other's lives for many years to come (because of the kids), so despite the outcome of the marriage, I do want to learn to do this correctly.

So, I guess that would be a good example of a shaky start at "Turning Toward," eh? \:\) And, it may seem like the obvious answer, but I can't say the "old" me wouldn't have said something like, "See? It is not all me when it comes to our lack of communication!" Ugh. Yes, I really would have done that. \:\(

Thank you again. I am printing this out and adding it to the many things I need reminders of!

Thank you also for taking the time to read this entire thread. I hope that others are learning something from all of my mistakes!