Slowly,

Thanks for joining this discussion. I have always liked the things you have had to say, too. Thanks especialy for this:

Originally Posted By: slowly
I thought I wanted to be different too. And am slowly coming to the realisation that I actually want to be effective, and that means sometimes being the same, and sometimes adapting to a different style. Long way of saying needing to change and wanting to change may not always happen at the same time \:\( And sometimes, we should be careful not to chuck the baby out with the bathwater.


Funny you should say this, because this is another place that I always seem to get stuck! I think that I have had other epiphanies before~ heck, with Bets and Mer on my side I am sure that lots of things were pointed out. Most recently, BabyBliss and Nicola have written things that have stopped me in my tracks. So, I start thinking "Change, Change, CHANGE already, Pam!"

But, as you so astutely pointed out, I don't really need to be completely different...I just need to be effective. I really don't want to lose ME in all of this. I want to lose those parts of me that don't relate to people (read "H") so well, but I think I am more like an apple that needs a little bruised part cut off... it is still an apple in the end, just a more appetizing one. That may sound silly, but for a bit there I was trying to become something totally different.

If you go back into my old posts, you will see that I had a great fear of becoming a Stepford Wife! That is a true fear of mine in all of this.

So, thank you, Slowly for bringing this up. I seem to get to this point and then give up because I feel so overwhelmed over trying to be someone totally different! I am sure my H doesn't really want that, anyway. He just wants to have trust in me and feel "safe" in talking to me. He wants me to slow down and think before I react. Those are very doable goals.