PS I hope that what I am about to post won't offend you.
You want your h to change, but you also know that he has problems with commitment and truth. This may be part of MLC that is not yet resolved, or due to other psychological issues that he does not appear to willing to engage with.
COnfronting people about these issues is useless. If he were an alcoholic it would be pointless confronting him about a secret drinking binge, much as you would long to do so.
Why not ask him if he was at work yesterday? He could either lie, or tell you the truth. You are fighting the wrong battle here. You cannot 'make' your husband into someone truthful. His behaviour is pathological, and HE needs to recognise the damage he is doing to himself and all his other relationships
Think of him as someone with an addicition to deceit, and [possibly] to the OW. Think of it as crack cocaine. He probably doens't like it either, at a fundamental level, but he has erected all sorts of defences to 'permit'himself to behave like this. This has to be worked through, not fixed.
I hate to see you like this. I truly think that he has to go and sort himself out, but the reason that you are so hurt, I suspect is that you love him so much. Can you find a way to tell him this?
Power struggling over a serious behaviour pattern like this wont fix him, and will only hurt you.
