Dear Hope, I have just been re-reading some of your ealier posts. I am not surprised that you have been having an emotional reaction to your h's long phone call that started this new thread.
As many of us have posted, it offers an extraordinary insight into the mind of [at least] one MLCer, and I believe is what is happening to a greater or lesser extent to many of them.
The sale of the house is hard: we sold our dream home last summer, about 9 months post bomb, and that was hard at the time, but actually after it had gone I felt better.
To rebuild our lives, whether it is with our h's or without them, I think we not only have to let go of them, the way they were, but also a lot of our possessions that were asscoiated with that life. They hold memories of what was, and what is to come will never be the same. It will be better, because we are changed. BND used to talk of the refiners fire. It is true, everything gets burned away.
I think you did the right thing in sending that email. Your h is trying to rebuild himself, and it may help him to see what he was like in the crisis.
Take care of yourself. Try to remember that the terrible things he did and said were a part of his huge crisis. I know that many of us do not post some of the most hurtful and damaging stuff. I also know that the person my h was pre MLC would not have behaved like he did to ANYONE, let alone his nearest and dearest.
It might help you to talk through some of the terrible things that he did with a consellor, if you havne't done so. It s a way of getting rid of the pain, and enabling us to move one. Alternatively write it down and shred it - not as effective probably, but cheaper!!
Please continue to post. Your journey has been one of grace and dignity, and you are and have long been, an inspiration to me.
