After giving it much thought, I decided to give my W one last chance to reconcile and an opportunity to make the situation right for the kids when she is with them. Below is my letter to her, in the style of Plan A/Plan B: http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html
My W's response to my email is in the following post. My only purpose to copy her response verbatim is to journal myself and in the process, illustrate how messed up a MLC's thought process can be and how ruthless they can be in dealing with someone that still promises to love them despite multiple affairs.
Here is my letter to her in an email:
------------------ W,
After our discussion on how we need to parent the kids and your decision to disrespect my request, I wanted to write this letter to let you know where I stand.
It is truly sad what has happened to our marriage and us. I am sad to see how you are exposing our two beautiful daughters to your affair(s). I was particularly shocked to hear that you decided to have D5 spend the evening of her precious birthday with your boyfriend rather than with her dad. The path that I must take now is not one of choice but one of self-preservation and one that protects my kids.
The past few months have been the most difficult time of my life. The pain and emptiness that I endure on a daily basis is almost too much to bear. My only consolation is the memories of the love we once shared, of the all good times we have spent together, your fun loving qualities that led me to commit to spend my life with you and thoughts of us being together, someday happy again. Unfortunately, I now find those thoughts and feelings are slowly eroding away. Before I lose any more of the thoughts and feelings of what was once us, I must take the last chance to ask you for the right thing to do for us and the kids.
As you know I am still willing to do whatever it takes to correct the mistakes that we have made in the past and make our marriage together stronger and closer than we ever thought possible. With all of my heart, I would like to leave the old marriage behind and build a new marriage with you - one, in which we both feel loved, safe, and cherished. We can only rebuild our marriage, together, when you completely end your relationships with other men.
I will not physically stop you from continuing the affair, because I love you and would not have you shackled to our marriage, but instead having you stay within by choice. Just know that you are deeply and deliberately hurting and humiliating someone who loves you very much by seeing your significant other(s) and spending time with them when you have the kids with you. If you are still disputing this as my opinion only, I urge you to read this article for the sake of your kids:
I have loved you in many different ways; as a girlfriend, as a wife, as a confidant, a friend and a mother of our 2 girls. I still love you today; I just cannot help you as long as you are still involved with someone else.
Regarding raising the kids, I'm interested in us working this out amicably, and since you are not intentionally making an effort to do so, I will do whatever it takes to protect myself and the kids since they are my number one priority.
-signed me
Me 41, ring on W 36, ring off married 13 yrs Separated D9, D5 bomb May, 07 My sitch
