SueS,

That's a hard process.

I think in my case:

I was dealing with depression.

I had to learn to combat nrgative thoughts.

My authentic self was buried in people pleasing (still is.

Part of it is fear

Part of it is insecrity

Part of it is not feeling comfortable in your own skin.

THere's a book with excellent online free testing called Authentic Happiness. Get it. IT's excellent.

Frankly, the best person to talk to would be a sound cognitive, behavioral therapist.