The thing is most of here are changing ourselves for what we feel is the better. The WAS often does nothing. So we get back together and discover nothing has changed with the dynamic inside the marriage itself. How can it when both parties aren't participating. It is a rare thing for it to work and I am not saying it is impossible but the reality of it is there. Take a look around at the boards. Especially in piecing. You will see what a long and tough road it is. You will see how many feel like they have to start over. Will they actually get a marriage back? Possible. It all depends on what you want from a marriage and how the interactions are after the WAS spouse returns. I reality, there are too many variables to have a pat answer.
