I was kind of a wreck for the first couple of days this week but fortunately I was able to keep most of that here or with friends, away from her. I think it was the comedown from having things during my visit go so positive and then having to come back to my life and the reality that nothing in our sitch really changed; all I did was plant a seed of doubt. Talked to my IC and my DB coach today so that really helped get my head on right. Helped me see the positive that I'd been overlooking.
Plan right now is more of the same with maybe one or two slight tweaks. So that's time and patience on my part. I am thankful that things have improved as much as they have because this time a month ago, D was a done deal. Now, she says she still wants it but that she's thinking.
On a personal note, I feel like I've made some positive improvements on how I deal with emotions. I've always been the typical heart-on-sleeve kind of person and it hasn't served me well in the past. I still get crazy swings but I've been able to walk myself through them (or crawl as the case may be) with much more success. I remember reading somewhere that the sense of empowerment that comes with no longer being ruled by emtions is fantastic. I'm just getting a glimpse of it and it is better than I thought it would be.
