Me: 46 Wife: 39 D: 13 S: 11, 9, 7 Bomb 3.2.07, Sep Same Day, D papers 11.1.07 Current Status - Wants to take me through Discovery, I will go to prison first.
I guess the party ended rather quickly...I was tired an d fell sleep quite early for a Friday.
Journaling:
Last night when H came to pick up the girls I was blow drying my hair when I noticed my very sad looking H behind me trying to get my attention to say hi. I turned to look at him and I felt so bad it was almost like heis body language was telling me he wanted ahug. He was acting somewhat weird? kinda moving his arms out to me, or maybe he was only trying to get me to turn around. Oh but what a sad look:( I hurt for him but I didnt want to show it.
Even though I was not goign anywhere & had no feinds to see,I acted as if I was. H made a smart remark that I brushed of something to the fact of where u going? and then some sexual remark of me and my freinds gonna go do a booby dance? ANYHOW, I ignored (getting good at that) and then he said- No really I am just asking where are you going? I said just gonna go hang out w/ people from work. I was goign to get something to eat bymyself.,but he didnt need to know that. You see he knows I dont know too many people and my closest freind moved out of state. So when a while back I told him I had become quite the scail butterfly (which he didnt beleive at first) he said oh that wont last! His sadness went to anger when he couldnt find one of the girls footbal cheerleader tops and was yelling at me. I said calmy I dont know its been forever since theyve worn it.
As he was storming to leave I hollered to him have a good weekend!
Rememeber he was only going to have the girls for Saturday only even though this is his weekend b/c as he said if I have plans w/ my "BF" the I would have to find my own sitter. But when I told him I had "called it quits" /w my "BF" he changed his tune & said he could keep them all weekend if I wanted.
It seems like your H can blow his top very quickly over simple things. Its just the same with my W. It seems that you have a lot of patience and your H cannot control his. The role is the same for me. I am more placid and calm than my W.
See the W, Listen to the W, but dont Speak back to the W. Bridle your tongue...
I have a very relaxing and quiet wekend all to my self! Saturday night I went to the movies b/c I needed some cheering up and thought I'd see a funny movie.
Sunday I went to the beach (perfect weather day for it). I stayed a bit too long and got fried and I look like a tomatoe! The breeze was nice so it didnt feel like I was frying. The waves were perfect for those who surf. I found a place where not too many people were at. The summer is pretty much over,(even though its Florida) and this was the first time I get out to the beach all summer!
H took the girls to the football game. It funny before he came to drop them off I had told myself that if he wants more sex that I would have a speech ready for him. Well, he came and he told the girls hey girls mommy went to the game w/ her BF! I said no(I knew he would think that b/c of the sunburn). After he told me his schedule for the upcoming week & how he will be traveling for the most part but that he will try to see the girls somehow.
Well, I had wanted to tell H no more sex utnil he can give me ALL of himself, BUT..it had been a while ...& I was kinda needy... SO much for the speech! Jeesh! What is wrong w/ me??? As I took of my shirt he noticed how badly burnt I was and asked if I sunbathed in the nude?? UH, no! All the while I noticed his mind was really not "there" and his performance showed it. I told him I knew his mind was elsewhre.Before coming over he did call to see if I could meet him halfway to get the girls b/c he was so tired from the game but Iwaas inthemiddle of something. Why is it that he wanted it and he iniated,but then this? He explained he thought D6 was still at the doorway (yeah sure). Maybe he was thinking about the time? It was late and he was gonna be later in getting back? At least he didnt rush me. I dont know if I am enabling this by continuing sex and threfore he get it from two fo us & why should he return..OR if its good I keep this connection so he will return and feel close? I am assuming something is not goign too well for them, b/c H is the type when there si stress ro your not getting along he simply cant preform and doesnt want to do it. I guess I am analizing again..
I asked D10 if she heard H and OW having an argument at all this weekend and even though she couldnt decipher what was said she said they both were screaming very loudly. SO, .......hmmmmmm
