Cold Diff. cont.

[MJontheMend]

Lol- I think we ended up at the same place on the road although my route might have been more circuitous.

There is so much more to say about this AND about Burgbud's comments about the difference between a wife's "testing" and out and out abuse. I just don't have the time!!

Okay, I've got nothing better to do since I haven't signaled availability lately and therefore I am home on a Friday night (sigh) so let me give it a whirl. If we all buy my premise that a woman is testing a man's ability to maintain his value system then conflict may arise if she:

1) Doesn't have adequate knowledge of his value system.

2) Views him as acting in opposition to his value system.

3) Views his value system as being in opposition to her value system.

4)Views him as taking inadequate action in the direction of his value system.

So let's say a man strongly values sex as an expression of emotional connection within a marriage. Conflict may arise if:

1) He doesn't clearly state this value.

2) He does something in conflict with this value such as settle for sex lacking emotional connection.

3) His wife truly places no value on sexuality within marriage as a means of emotional connection.

4) He takes inadequate action such as retreating into fantasy.


So any action that a woman might take in alignment with these points would be "testing" and would only likely rise to the level of "abuse" if the man wasn't conscious of the fact that he was striving to manifest his value system. I suppose a severe conflict of true value systems would lead to the end of the relationship.