It's been an odd week. I had a long talk with H about financial stuff and I didn't cry at all. Had my first counseling session, too. Counselor made me feel like I was a bit odd to have put up with H as long as I have. I found myself defending him again. CRAZY! I asked why all my anger was directed at ow and she said she found that interesting. She said I should journal more about my feelings toward H. She also kept saying the divorce wasn't my fault and I needed to remember that! I didn't make a second appt yet.....figued I would be needing it more after the D is final.
Last bit of settlement is not going well. It's all or nothing for H (or in this case nothing or nothing....it involves his pension, of course!). I do believe the law is on my side. It would be so easy for me to give in when he "pleads his case", but I resolve to remain strong! He even asked what happened to the nice person he married (those weren't his exact words, but something like that). I told him that person left when he asked me for a divorce! Boy was he mad! If I don't change my mind he will hire a lawyer and it will be "all my fault" that we have to spend more on lawyer fees. (apparently the lawyer he talked to is on vacation so that is why I "get" two weeks to change my mind!) LOL.
D16's birthday is on Sunday. Having H and his family over for a b'day dinner (her request; they live near by--my side of the family are too far away). It will be the first time we've all been together since this mess started. Hopefully H's anger will have subsided by then so it will be a pleasant experience.
